“Pain and Love”
by
Donald L. Vasicek
You know you hear this certain kind of sound, soothing, neutralizing, a combination of peace, solitude, and happiness. It could be music. Maybe the wind gently rustling through some Aspen trees. A wide, massive river that flows quietly. Lay on your belly next to it. Like ground level, you’re level with the water. Check it out. It’s awesome.
Yes, soothing, that’s it. It soothes the pain like putting tea tree oil on a paper cut. Soothes it right out. And you know, when you get that soothing, it’s something,
because, forever how brief or long it might be, it takes you away from the person
you love, who rejected you, put the cabbosh on your dreams to be with her.
This kind of pain lasts a longtime, like a lifetime. She’s gone, man, what’re you gonna’ do? What’re you gonna’ do? Seek out the quiet in your mind. There, and only there, you can see some hope for not losing your sanity. You know, that’s what can happen when you are unable to be with the one you love.
Love? Love can be very painful. The reason for that is the mind, the brain gives you information about your feelings. The information originates by something visual, something you hear, something you taste, something you touch, and/or something you
feel. It is at that point that your life conditioning comes into play. It’s who you are, the way you are built, you.
So, someone you might love who put the cabbosh on you, who might not even cause a ripple in someone else’s mind, causes a tidal wave in your mind. It consumed you, all of who she is/was. All of it because of the way you were built.
That’s what love is all about. To be consumed. That translates to mean that you care for that person. You care, care, care for that person. You devote your life to that person, aside, of course from the fact that you also have to devote yourself to your own life, as well. But the caring isn’t like smothering. It’s about being there for that person.
Being there for that person means when she is overpowering you with negatives as well as when she is overpowering you with her love for you, you be there for her. Like, for example, she looks into your eyes with a hurt look, a please, please understand me look. Then, understand her. See it. Hear it. Taste it. Touch it. Feel it. And then, she will transform, again, she will transform each time you give her this kind of love. You know what I mean because you experienced it from her before she put on the hiking boots and hiked on out of there from you. And there can be a million reasons, or one, for taking a hike from you.
It’s all about pain and loving. When we look at pain and love, we have to understand that there is never one of anything, anything! With one, there is always the other. You know, Yin and Yang. Man and Woman. Sun and Rain. Dog and cat. Horse and wagon. And it’s always a dichotomy. The unity of opposites. The mingling of dualities. So, with pain and love, there would be no pain if there were no love. Or, there would be no love if there were no pain.
So, where you gonna’ go from here, Jack? You got dumped. Your heart bleeds with the kind of pain that is so intense that your waking hours are filled with misery and agony. You want to be with her, but she doesn’t want to be with you. She doesn’t want to be with you! Get it? The sooner you get that, the sooner you can begin ridding yourself of the pain.
And that can roll out a cornucopia of new things to do. Like, the more new activities in which you involve yourself, the less you miss her. The less you miss her! The busier you keep yourself from being depressed about her loss. It is never easy to experience rejection. Never. Human beings are built to cohabit the earth (and space is on the horizon) with each other. When one of those others tells you she doesn’t want to cohabit the earth with you, well that hurts.
Hurt, swim in your pain. Give yourself time to experience the beginning of the end of your love for someone. That doesn’t mean you have to quit loving them. What it means is that you have to move forward into your life without that person, and still love them as a human being, wishing the best for them, then moving on.
The only permanent thing in life is the present. And just like that, the present is gone. It is the future you just saw. Stay in the present. Stay in the present. Focus, focus, focus on the love, not your pain. The stabbing in your heart, the desperation in your mind, will be slowly and eventually culled from them by focusing on your future and with thoughts
of love for her that will never be returned, at the least, consciously.
Life is minute changes of time. Life is relentless. It moves forward regardless of what is going on around you and in you. Nothing in life is permanent. Life evolves. Go with that evolution and you will do yourself well. A change comes, like the woman you love,
pushes on her hiking boots and takes a hike from your life, then you are being told to move on without her.
So, move on without her. You will be all right. Just pull yourself through the pain with love and love will always be there for you.
